Monday, December 12, 2005

Is Life Weird?

Dont know if i have to pay for this blogging time by sleeping a couple of hours less tonight or rather morning.. havent really thought it over but i do think life is weird.. let me disect myself first.. i am studying here at IIM and slogging it out with the outside world thinking that I am so lucky..but is that really so.. Has God really been fair? I mean i really worked hard for that IIT..and throughly deserved it..but then isnt it unfair that he didnt reward me any further.. so much so that i came out of that institute with a blank head and a degree to boot.. well not exactly a blank head.. i still had ambition and hope that maybe i was cut out for better things.. ( I should say that being in teh company of some really intelligent ppl at IIT helped.. makes u think that anything is possible).. well gave cat..God blessed me with good luck again.. i must say that seeing all teh hard working guys here.. i think my getting thru IIM L was a fluke.. but then many times i have not got well deserved successes so better grab whatever i can get.. but now this.. GOd has put me in this institute and taken away all my luck.. provided me ample opportunities to succeed but never allowed me to win... this has been going on for almost 4-5 months.. my gut feeling says that success is just round the corner but then this period is hard... knocks on ur psyche every few days in the form of bad marks and results of various events I participate is reinforcing the fact that actually God might have wanted to punish me rather than reward me..he did the same by putting me into IIT.. he gave me opportunities and I tried.. but couldnt get anything..where does that leave me? a very bad feeling in the heart...maybe ..just maybe i could have been at the very top of this world, had a few things turned out a little differently.. dunno if I should ask life for any more favours..U never know what kind of challenges i might get in future.. of course me not scared of challenges.. I revel in them...its the continuous failures thats worrying me.. I have suddenly not become useless.. atleast at par with the guys here.. com'n I am sure I can do better than these guys here and i am trying also.. its just that things have not been working according to my plans for a long long time.. glad that I am an eternal optimist.. God will surely relent :)

2 comments:

Smitha said...

hey u!!! u shudn be getting soo worked up abt stuff like this!!!n well u do know that ppl get what they deserve to..it might come in a little late but thts jus coz He wants to see how far u can go!!!

rākeśvara said...

Good that you can count what good things God has given you, though you forgot to count a couple of things.

Coming to the bad luck part, what exactly do you mean? how are you defining success? Why do these other
people come in to play? Is it really that hard to ignore others and just measure yourself against your self?

I am sure you are doing well, just get the best out of your time there. Focus on your study, do not lose focus by looking at other's grades. After all, is focus not one of the most imortant things in business...