this is to all who are or were in love..
had gone to a marriage recently..met an old friend of mine.. was pretty smart looking in college but now he has become VERY fat and all rich looking if you know what i mean.. I asked him if all this came with the package.. he was pursuing dentistry at a reputed college in the city..having finished his MBBS and now he is doing his MS or soemthing like it.. i was surprised that even dentists could do surgery.. that was a wrong question to ask him coz he rambled on for an hour explaining what he would be doing..ofcourse this blog is not about those gory details..the mashed jaws and the cranial collapse wouldnt make happy reading at all...
well at this middle age we generally end up talking about future and marraige ( stupid subject) and which is waht we did..( gawd i really miss those days when we talked about cricket and movie stars and maybe even novels (with the academically inclined) whole day long...)
anyway here i was asking him about his love life..ofcourse he had one..she hasnt talked at home..he has..foolish guy..now he is trapped... the gal is from Goa..wow..thats one nice place..
then popped a question in my head and i blurted it..do u guys fight? and pronto .. obviously..all the time..sometimes very seriously.. ok i get it..smile and say..thats a sign of mature love..he was impressed and smiled and I was shocked..now when had i thot this over..Is it really true?
Married couples always fight..ofcourse there are some boring couples who dont but then do unmarried couples start fighting when their relationship matures a bit.. obviously its not a sign of boredom or breaking up...maybe its just one more stage in the relationship..
well before we move further, I must clarify that personally I think there is no such thing as fighting with gals.. what my gal thinks as fighting is what i call a healthy flow of ideas between people.
I would consider fighting as something that involves use of legs and arms freely and to good effect.. for gals i guess coming to pow wow would be too nasty.. anyway so maybe most guys have a similar view about fighting..maybe difference of opinion is not akin to fighting for guys but it is a serious fighting matter for gals.
so mature couples fight? ya they do..mainly because they have alreday told each other most of the things they had to say.. u have after all done only a fixed number of things in your life right..how much time can it take to describe all of it.. so then is fighting a means of communication when you have nothing to tell each other??....lots of questions..
will answer them later.. got to submit a few assignments tomorrow :(
anyway when we both left for our homes, both did agree that the dating days were the best.. you could simply go to some nice place like CCD or barista and have a nice time.. those were the good old days...
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6 comments:
well fighting in itself may or may not be a sign of mature love but if a couple can fight like crazy n then patch up jus as easily n still love each jus as before , well, then tht wud be a sign of mature love..dont u think??
n when two ppl come together there r bound to be difference of opinion(esp if both individuals r quite stubborn abt speaking their mind !!!:-))..so it is but natural tht couples quarrel..if some one told me tht they never quarrel with their bf/husband i wud sure conclude tht there is sthg wrong..
n btw , sir--when 'healthy exchange of ideas' gets a little too brash n a little too argumentative thts when its called a fight!!! :-)
n hey --its not jus the guys but the gals too who feel tht the 'dating' or 'courting' period was the best..thts the time when u guys r usually at ur 'impressive' best n doing 'all the right things'..only when the relationship grows u see the 'other side of things'..:-)
n if u learn to love the 'other side ' too thts when u know tht the relationship is for keeps!!!
Whaddafaq dude...
Sorry your blog was so outrageous that I had to break my politically correct barriers. Do not give me the crap that fighting is a form of 'mature' love. Now come on, what on earth made you come to such a preposterous conclusion?
And you ppl speak like people who have done all that dating stuff and are trough with things. Where as I (like a lot of people in grad school) are still looking forward to its beginning :-(
Raka,
Fighting is just one of the symptoms of maturing love.. I dont think you can generalise it in anyway..if u start ur relationship thru fights then that cannot be mature love..that would be childish anyway you are not new to love..you have given your heart away so many times..
Everyone gets to make fun of a loser, especially the ones that get all they want.
Life is biased towards the winners.
Ha ha..this is funny.
Hey Raka, I distinctly remember you consoling yourself sometime ago that frequent...nah constant...fighting is perhaps a sign of love. ;-) why the sudden change in thinking.
@smitha :
You sure are right when you say that courting times are the best coz guys are at their best.
The same reason I believe for arranged marriages working out better (statistically) - you have more realistic and down to earth expectations of your spouse. :-)
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